family crisis.

this blog is more going to be me rambling, rather than me trying to teach about what i've learned. i hope this counts. but it's been through learning about family crises that have made me so grateful for my own family, despite the trials we have had to face.
my mom grew up in a family crisis. she was raised by alcoholics. i do not know to a full extent of what she went through, it is not something that we often talk about at home. in fact, that's one of the unsaid family rules. i do know however that sometimes the home she lived in consisted of various forms of abuse. this is the definition of crisis.
we learned about and ABC model forming X:
Actual Events + Behavioral Responses + Cognitive = eXperience
the reality is, as hard as it is, we determine what will happen in the end. we do not control the events. but we control out behavior. we control our cognition. we determine our experience.
my mom did not let the events that were given her control her. she instead stopped history from repeating itself by becoming a "transitional character." she stopped the filth that run in her family from affecting her children. she did not let the life she was raised in define her. she is one of the most amazing people i know. i wish she did not have to live in the crisis she grew up in.

as for my own life, a family crisis i've experienced is when my dad got cancer. both times. i will not go into much detail about the cognitive process because it's become something spiritual that i'm not just going share it to everyone. but the actual events was that i could've lost my dad to two different cancers. my behavior changed because of what i knew. the experience was hard, but it taught me.

often in life we are handed a situation. we have no control over it. we can control how he react to our future and destiny. the crisis can destroy us. or we can let it change us. it isn't something that'll be easy. it isn't something that'll take a day to master. it takes time, and practice. just remember. A+B+C=X.