Fact: one of the scariest things to me is falling in love. I've never been totally and completely in love, so I can't say it's because I had a bad experience with it. My heart has never been broken. But the fear of the things that can go wrong with falling in love is what has scared em the most. I've put up a wall my entire life to protect me from being vulnerable.
The truth is that I've just been scared no one could love me. I've been scared that I could never love someone fully. I've been scared I wasn't good enough, that I was too ugly. In fact, my fears have caused me to believe I will never get married. So I stopped thinking about it. I stopped thinking about things I'd even want in my future husband because I thought it would never matter.
Just recently I had the feeling however that I should think about what I'd want in a future husband. I decided I'd start slow since it's been so long since I let myself think I'd get married some day. I decided I need someone persistent. I want someone who's going to work for me, work hard to make me believe and understand that he loves me... because I'll never believe it. I want someone who will try to make us work.
Want to know something crazy? Right after I decided this, someone came back into my life I'd tried to push away because his persistence scared me. I realized quickly, I liked it after all. And I'm beginning to like him.
We'll see...
Anywho...
I've learned intentional thought dating is quite important. This is like a "know-quo." Sounds weird and confusing, right? This involves talk, time, and togetherness.
Talk: MUTUAL disclosure: secrets, how we see things, discover, sharing. I've realized from this section I need to work better on this. The key word for me is mutual. It does no good in my relationship if I do not reciprocate, or let the guy know his feelings are valid. I can't just expect him to be persistent if I'm not giving him a reason to.
Time: Anything less than three months, you do not know someone. Fact.
Togetherness: See each other in a variety of situation, even marriage situations.
In addition, structure dating is important. Want to know something most people don't seem to know? A date is planned, paid for, and paired off. This should be prepared by the man. Who would've thought???
Take notes BYU-Idaho....
Friday, May 25, 2012
Friday, May 18, 2012
gender.
We live in quite an interesting time. I am going to be completely honest with what I feel and know. What I say isn't meant to be offensive. But these are my beliefs.
I believe that "gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose."
We are all males and females. As such, we have different characteristics that separate us from the opposite sex. Some will say that these could and should be mixed. I however, disagree.
Before we were born, we lived in heaven. We had spirits, the same ones we possess now. It is not by accident we were born male or female. Considering this, we have eternal characteristics that define us. I do agree that socialization plays a big role in gender (for example, girls often are seen playing with dolls, boys playing with cars). But I don't think that is the only reason why.
Some believe boys should need to be raised bore like girls. This, I think, goes against our natural characteristics. Boys should be raised as boys, boys who will become men. I do think what needs to be done is teach our boys to be more sensitive to girls. Teach them to respect girls. Teach them to be empathetic and to care. This can be done at a young age and can influence the boys in a better way than raising our boys with dolls.
On a similar note...
As stated, gender is an essential characteristic. I think there is something divine about it. We were born separate beings. We were born to work with the opposite sex in ways that the same sex cannot. Man and woman can procreate. I believe this was by divine design. Life would cease to exist without man and woman. This wasn't coincidental.
I believe that "gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose."
We are all males and females. As such, we have different characteristics that separate us from the opposite sex. Some will say that these could and should be mixed. I however, disagree.
Before we were born, we lived in heaven. We had spirits, the same ones we possess now. It is not by accident we were born male or female. Considering this, we have eternal characteristics that define us. I do agree that socialization plays a big role in gender (for example, girls often are seen playing with dolls, boys playing with cars). But I don't think that is the only reason why.
Some believe boys should need to be raised bore like girls. This, I think, goes against our natural characteristics. Boys should be raised as boys, boys who will become men. I do think what needs to be done is teach our boys to be more sensitive to girls. Teach them to respect girls. Teach them to be empathetic and to care. This can be done at a young age and can influence the boys in a better way than raising our boys with dolls.
On a similar note...
As stated, gender is an essential characteristic. I think there is something divine about it. We were born separate beings. We were born to work with the opposite sex in ways that the same sex cannot. Man and woman can procreate. I believe this was by divine design. Life would cease to exist without man and woman. This wasn't coincidental.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
social class&culture
i'd never realized just how much a person's social class can affect their family until becoming a sociology major. i dug deep into what the different classes really are. i dug even deeper to consider stratification.
reality: raising a family in our economy is pretty difficult. yeah, i just realized this. don't judge me.
BUT... what is really needed to raise a family in this day and time?
i think so often we are caught up in materialistic necessities. we want a high paying job, big home, 4 car garage (plus some nice cars to go inside), big backyard (a swimming pool and hot tub wouldn't hurt), nice furnishing, monstrous kitchen... the list can go on. lets get some things straight though of what is necessary: job, home, car, and a family that will occupy these materials.
social class can be a touchy topic. it is this way because of how the classes are viewed by others and those within the same class.
what i'm beginning to see as very important is that you just do the best you can do. but what's important is to not neglect the family while on the endeavor.
reality: raising a family in our economy is pretty difficult. yeah, i just realized this. don't judge me.
BUT... what is really needed to raise a family in this day and time?
i think so often we are caught up in materialistic necessities. we want a high paying job, big home, 4 car garage (plus some nice cars to go inside), big backyard (a swimming pool and hot tub wouldn't hurt), nice furnishing, monstrous kitchen... the list can go on. lets get some things straight though of what is necessary: job, home, car, and a family that will occupy these materials.
social class can be a touchy topic. it is this way because of how the classes are viewed by others and those within the same class.
what i'm beginning to see as very important is that you just do the best you can do. but what's important is to not neglect the family while on the endeavor.
Saturday, May 5, 2012
fam theories
This week in class we focused on a variety of theories. It is important to state that theories are not factual. They do however help in explaining things, but should not be used as laws or truths. These theories include systems, exchange, symbolic, and conflict theories. Each have distinct differences that separate them from each other. Like we did in class, this blog will be focused on systems theory.
Systems theory in a family looks at a picture as a whole (the whole, big picture). The family systems theory consists of rules and roles. Nothing is more important than the other because as a whole pictures, each piece is significant.
I’ve been thinking a lot of my family as a system. Roles are very clear. I’m beginning to think it’s possible that some roles are not positive, but are essential. I for example, was probably the trouble maker, along with my brother, Jacob. In fact, my family called me Jacobina. We were horrid… like seriously. I fought with my parents just because I knew I was good at it. And I just did and acted in ways I should not have that this blog world doesn’t need to know. It’s surprising that my family still loves me at all:) But roles change, which is comforting! I’m definitely working on changing my role in the family, because I’d rather have my role be positive than a negative one.
As for rules, we had some that were spoken and unspoken. Here are a few of them:
-Don’t disrespect mom. If you do, you’re in a lot of trouble. (I can bear witness to that)
-Church is not an option.
-Obey curfew (except as my parents got older, this rule was jumped around because they’d fall asleep)
-Remember Who You Are. This seems like a strange thing to consider a rule, but it was something we lived by. We were reminded how we were a “Danielson,” and we were to respect that name.
-We had to pretend to be angels at Grandma and Grandpa’s. This one was easy, we always seemed to be on our best behavior there.
What are some of your family rules and roles?
Systems theory in a family looks at a picture as a whole (the whole, big picture). The family systems theory consists of rules and roles. Nothing is more important than the other because as a whole pictures, each piece is significant.
I’ve been thinking a lot of my family as a system. Roles are very clear. I’m beginning to think it’s possible that some roles are not positive, but are essential. I for example, was probably the trouble maker, along with my brother, Jacob. In fact, my family called me Jacobina. We were horrid… like seriously. I fought with my parents just because I knew I was good at it. And I just did and acted in ways I should not have that this blog world doesn’t need to know. It’s surprising that my family still loves me at all:) But roles change, which is comforting! I’m definitely working on changing my role in the family, because I’d rather have my role be positive than a negative one.
As for rules, we had some that were spoken and unspoken. Here are a few of them:
-Don’t disrespect mom. If you do, you’re in a lot of trouble. (I can bear witness to that)
-Church is not an option.
-Obey curfew (except as my parents got older, this rule was jumped around because they’d fall asleep)
-Remember Who You Are. This seems like a strange thing to consider a rule, but it was something we lived by. We were reminded how we were a “Danielson,” and we were to respect that name.
-We had to pretend to be angels at Grandma and Grandpa’s. This one was easy, we always seemed to be on our best behavior there.
What are some of your family rules and roles?
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